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Monday, July 8, 2013

Obedience: Punishing the Behavior v.s, Influencing the Heart

When people talk about discipline people automatically think of how to "punish" a child for certain behavior. Is there really a difference between the two? In today's world most people don't seem to think so. Discipline has become almost synonymous to punishment in such a way that when you ask a parent how hes/she disciplines his/her child the response would most likely be:

"I spank."
 "I give time-outs."
 "I withhold certain things they like."
 "I make them sit on a corner. "

These answers don't really show discipline, they talk about what you are supposed to do to reinforce discipline.

Punishing may successfully curb behavior but it doesn't address the root issue...the attitude. Let's say for example that your child screams at you when she's angry. You can give her time out and say "Don't shout at mommy". But what does that teach? Does that address the issue of respect? Does it teach her how she can better deal with her anger? Maybe, just maybe, your child would stop shouting at you but unless the root issues are addressed the behavior would just manifest itself differently. Maybe your child would start hitting, or talking back, or slamming the door to show her anger. If a heart problem is not addressed, it is sure to show itself again in again in different ways.


  1. Hi Liv! Pat here. How do you address it? How do you draw out the reason? Grabe. I need a lot of help with my almost 4yr old talaga.

    1. Hi Pat, the how would vary on your relationship with your kid and the personality of your kid and how you have influenced your kid already. IT may be a bit more helpful if you can give me an example of a specific example we can work through. =)

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