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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Family of Eggs

One of the concepts I was fascinated by while taking up my undergraduate in psychology was the difference between a hard-boiled egg family and a scrambled egg family. 

We learned that some families are like hard boiled eggs in a sense that each person respects the other's boundary. They are able to maintain their individuality and their identity while being member of the family.

Some families on the other hand are Scrambled Eggs in the sense that their lives are forever enmeshed in one another. What happens to one person is known by everyone, is felt by everyone. 

One is not necessarily better than the other, the best scenario I suppose is a healthy middle between the two kinds. I suppose a sunny side up that doesn't have a hard outer shell yet is still able to maintain its shape. 

It fascinated me because our family was on the extreme side of being scrambled eggs. My grand parents knew even about the lives of my classmates, my colleagues, we are just so enmeshed in each other's lives and we spend so much time together just talking to each other. I didn't know that there could be a different way of living. I thought the way I grew up was the normal way. Imagine my surprise when I married Ruy whose family was on the other extreme side of the spectrum. 

It took some adjustment. Some hemming and hawing before we found a life that fits us and makes us both happy and comfortable. A life where I can happily and comfortably keep my family of origin in the dark of some aspects of out lives for the sake of privacy which is important to Ruy, and also be able to share everything with Ruy to have hat connection I needed and I grew up with.

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