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Saturday, September 12, 2015

One Decision that Immensely Helped Our Relationship

My husband and I met in the year 2000. I had just turned 18 and he was in his early 20s. We didn't get together until the year 2001 and at that time we didn't know much about how relationships worked and we had an extremely dysfunctional relationship. We never physically hurt each other but there are other ways we could hurt each other without using force. Our friends who knew us then are still awed that we are somehow still together...and even more surprising is that we're actually quite happy!

I reflected on our relationship and I realized that some decisions we made early on helped preserve our relationship throughout the years. I thought I would share one particular decision that I feel has helped us so much. Ready? Here it goes:

We decided that breaking up is not an option.

Isn't that so ridiculously simple? It was a simple statement we both agreed on during the first few months of our relationship but it proved to be incredibly powerful and liberating. Because of this statement we were forced to move away from empty threats (if you don't like it then just leave!) and forced to face issues head on. If we were to stay together we better fix the relationship ASAP.

It was also liberating. I know that at my grumpiest...I am accepted. I know that I won't be rejected. My husbands knew that to.

This decision we made 15 years ago still stays with us to this day. It has become second nature to us that in all our issues and disagreements leaving or breaking up has never ever been mentioned.  This kind of security in our relationship is so powerful in bonding us. Have you made the same promise to your partner? 

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