Learning How to Play from the Experts

A year or so ago, I gently told my husband that he should try to join Andrea as she plays. I understand that he often tries to play with Andrea by making Andrea do the things he chooses. There is actually a value to this. Fathers teach kids all about cooperative play, and about following other people's rules. On the other hand, there is also value and beauty in playing with your kid by not interrupting their rhythm and just slowly immersing ourselves into their imagined world. You see into their wishes, their fantasies, their fears. You see just how they see you, how they understand family. How they see good and evil. You see all of that in play.

My husband though, is such a manly-man. As much as his heart wants to play with our daughter as she plays with her doll houses, and ponies, and stuffed animals, he just doesn't know how. He told me as much himself so I gave him a tip. I said, the next time you see her playing you can ask her to show you or teach you how to play.

It was a passing conversation and I didn't think much about it. My husband is very intentional about playing with our daughter and he consciously spends time with her teaching her about the bible, and character and about Jesus. I didn't feel the need to nag about that one thing.

One day, I was in school and my husband got home earlier than usual. They ended up playing with her doll houses and ponies. My husband excitedly told me about it when I got home. I asked him how he managed and he said  "I told her: Hon, I really want to play with you but I don't know how to play with this. Can you show me?", not only did my husband get to show his eagerness in spending time with my daughter. My daughter got the experience of being the "expert" at something and showing my husband how to play with dolls (I swear, I wish I could have seen this).