Dear 16-year-old Liv

Dear 16-year-old Liv,

     How are you doing? Guess what? You're in your 30s now and you are nowhere near where you thought you would be. But here's one good news, you are finally happy. It took a while to get there. You have made a lot of mistakes in your youth but by God's grace, he lead you down this path to a life that is correct.


     You know what though? You could have hastened this process if you had only learned your lessons early on. I thought I would try and save you the unnecessary pain by summarizing the lessons life has thrown my way:

1. Be patient. Know and understand that there is a certain ebb and flow in life that every stage in your life is meant to teach you something. Don't rush into things. Don't try to grow up too fast. You have your whole lifetime to be an adult. Enjoy being a student, a teenager and a daughter first.
2. Be humble. You are not as smart as you think you are. There are people smarter than you , prettier than you, richer than you or more qualified than you are. These are not things that set you apart from other people. Look God has blessed you with a lot. But this is not something that you have to boast about. As Jeremiah 9:24 states: "Rather, let the one who boasts, boast in this: that he understands and knows me, " that should be your focus. Know that you have to treat people better. Know that often times you would need the help of other people. 
3. Pray. Yes I know you're a teenager and you can't imagine ever being weak or needing anything you can't achieve. You are so lucky to have had a blessed childhood.You need God in your life. It may seem cool and smart to dabble in tarot and to be an atheist but look inside your heart and you know what you really believe in. 
4. Benefit from the wisdom of the people around you. This is related to being humble. Know that the people around you are put there by God to bless and guide you. Soak in everything they can teach you. Learning from their experiences and their mistakes will save you the pain of having to go through. This includes your parents, specially your mom...listen to your mom. 
5. Cultivate relationships. There is nothing sadder in life than being alone. We were meant to reach out to others, to touch other lives and to be touched by other's lives as well. This is how we grow, this is how we bloom. 
6. Don't compare yourselves to others. You cannot and should not look at what others have or what others have achieved unless you want to make sure that they have enough so you can help them. You are unique. Your experiences, your life, your journey cannot be compared to others. Don't try to keep up with others as well. Live within your means. 

Love, 

31-year-old Liv

p.s.

Blogger friends feel free to write your own 6 things to say to 16-year-old you. =)

Mom 24/7 2014 Planner Review

I am a planner fiend. I don't know why but I am just irrationally drawn to them. I have dozens of apps to help organize my life on my iphone but when push comes to shove, nothing beats having a solid planner and pen to help me get my thoughts in order.

I find that the older I get, the more picky I become with planners and the more specific my requirements become. For my 2014 planner I went with Mommy Mundo's Mom 24/7 planner. I am quite happy with the option (I should be as I literally went to 6 bookstores, and took 5 weeks to choose the planner I really wanted).

Let me start by talking about the things I absolutely loved about the Mom 24/7 planner.

1. The size. It fits most of my purses but at the same time it's 6*8 size lets me write comfortably per page. 
2. The binding. It uses a high quality ring to bind the pages letting me fold the pages back completely without damaging the planner.
3. The paper.  It's high quality paper that lets me use gel pens without the ink bleeding through. I also love that the paper is not glossy like some planners so I can use any kind of pen without worrying about smudging.
4. Lack of excessive ads. Another widely popular planner in the Philippines has just an insane amount of ads spread out amidst their planner pages. I appreciate the need for ads as I know it drives down the cost of the planner but I really do not wish to dig around for my planner pages. 
5. The cost. I was surprised to find that this high quality binder comes at a very reasonable cost. 
6. The features. This is just chocful of features useful for moms. (I'll go into more details later)
7. The design. The design looks fresh and modern and very hip. Even the inner pages have great typography and is clearly well conceptualized. 

*I am going to talk about some things which are my personal ideas of what would make a planner superb. This does not mean in any way that I think the Mom 24/7 is inferior, I just have very specific preferences as to how I like planners to be laid out. 

FEATURES:

Monthly View - This planner has a monthly calendar on one page with enough for some small notes on the side. I use this feature to plan out trips in advance, put in special events and birthdays. The design of the monthly calendar is very clean and modern looking. I think it would make it even more special if the month is laid out in 2 pages to have more room. 

The beautiful dividers - I know this isn't really a huge feature but it really makes things easier for me. I am able to go from one month to the other much more easily because of these dividers. They're really pretty to look at too. 

To-do List - This was actually the selling point for me. I loved the full page to-do list with so much room for an avid list writer like myself. I was so disappointed  when I saw though that the to-do list can only be found at the beginning of the month of January. I thought there would be a to-do list for every month =(

Weekly Calendar - I love love love the weekly calendar. I love the fact that you can factor in the schedule of your kids. I think you can include the schedule of up to 3 kids. I only have on daughter so I am using one row for my homeschooling schedule and another for expenses. I also love that there are goals for the week and even a little bit for notes, thoughts and reminders.

Pages and PERKS!!

I love all the extra pages. I still have to figure out how to use a lot of them but I'm so excited to start using them.

Child's Info Sheet - there were 4 pages of these (which seems weird considering there's only room for the schedule of 3 kinds on the weekly calendar) and I think these pages would be so helpful. I specially love the spaces for the shoe sizes.

I think I'm going to use the extra pages for nephews and godchildren.

Kids Health Record - this is another thing I love. I love being able to take note of illnesses, medications, prescriptions in one page. Awesome. Strange that this time there's space for only 2 kids. (It doesn't affect me though since I only have one kid).

Immunization Record - My child is already on the stage of boosters so this is not as useful to me. But if I have another child I'm sure I'd be all over this feature.

Menstrual Tracker - another wonderful thing to have. 

Parents' Health Record - YAY. Finally someone remembered that we parents get sick too. I love that there's also space for my husband's record

Gadget Tracker - this is one feature I'm not sure I'll be using just because I'm not that much of a techie to begin with. 

Household Staff File - This is just heaven sent. I've been telling myself I should start taking note of this and voila here it is. I have no more excuse. 

There are other features of this planner that I didn't include which you may enjoy. I highly recommend this planner for all moms out there. 

(I bought this planner with my own money.)

In Everything Give Thanks

2013 was a roller coaster of sorts. I feel like I had such great highs and I ended on a spiritual low. I just somehow drifted away from God. I knew the fault was in me. I knew God was constant and I was the one who closed my heart. I vowed to draw near him again in 2014.

2014, 1:00 am - My daughter Sabrina has 38.8 degree  fever. I looked at my husband and said "What a way to start the year huh?". Then the story of Job hit me. I'm complaining about a fever? I'm already losing faith and feeling sorry for our family because of that? The verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything, give thanks..."

I closed my eyes and prayed. I thanked God that I am home and able to take care of the fever. I thanked him that we had money to buy medicine. And I said "Lord I don't understand why Sabrina needs to get sick but I know that you are in control and that if you want to you can heal her at any time. But if you don't, then I trust that you have a plan for us and I thank you for that".

We went to bed and I set my alarm for 3:00 am so I could monitor her fever. It was gone! It's been over 24 hours now and we've remained fever free. I haven't ever heard of a 3-hour fever so I'm amazed by this recoveryy.

BSP's Money Matter for Kids Exhibit - UPDATED

Andrea and I trekked over to Gateway mall to see Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas' roving exhibit called Money Matter for Kids. I have heard of this exhibit in the past but it was situated in Museong Pambata and that was just too far for us (considering I had to go to school myself after homeschooling). So imagine my delight when I saw them setting up in Gateway Mall.

So I asked my daughter to go on stage so I can take her photo
and this is her pose of choice

When Andrea and I got there, my expectations were at an all time low. The place was tiny and was a half-open space in the middle of the mall. I was sure we'd be in and out within 5-10 minutes so we registered and went in.

We had the kindest guide take us around the exhibit and she recommended we start with the history of money board:

Here she is reading the display. Please don't judge
the mismatched clothes, she insisted on dressing herself.

A lot of the written things are a bit too complex for young kids but with parental supervision it is a good jump off point for parents to start talking about money. I simplified some concepts for Andrea.

We then headed to this cool activity where the kids are given paper and asked to shade the paper to reveal the picture of the coin under it.

The exhibit featured various old coins which kids nowadays
haven't seen.

The part I thought would excite her the most was the giant money puzzle.

She did enjoy it, but I think it was too simple for her. 

(Addendum from Andrea - Andrea: It wasn't too simple for me. I just did it fast because the instructions said that the time would run out)
There were lots of photo ops here!

There are also opportunities to learn about the various currencies from different countries.

And a place to learn about ATMs.

The furrowed brows means she is concentrating on
reading the instructions on the ATM. She was a bit
disappointed when no money came out...to be honest so
was I! ;p

The best and most exciting part for Andrea was the shopping area. Here, the kids are given various shopping lists and a budget. They are to find things in the list but have to make sure they stay within budget. They have their own calculator where they can check and see how they're doing and at the end of everything they need to go to the check out counter where they themselves will be the cashiers.

ANDREA HAD A BLAST!! She loved it so much that she and her dad are planning a return trip soon. The exhibit runs till Aug 17 so do try to check it out if you have big kids. =)
(Addendum from Andrea -- Andrea: I really did have a blast!)

Book Recommendation: Who Was Helen Keller

I am so grateful that Andrea's not into princesses. She once told me that "Princesses are boring they don't do anything but stay in the castle. I want to be a knight and keep the kingdom safe"

Unfortunately most books available for young girls involve either princesses or girls who are obsessed with fashion or being fancy and prissy. While I see no problem with these characters in moderation I do wish for better role models for my daughter. 

I was beyond excited therefore to find this series of books:

It is a biography of famous people in history written for kids.  The language used is simple enough to understand: 

The spacing between words and paragraphs make it perfect for early readers. The biography is also broken down into short chapters that would be easily digestible by young kids. 

There are also lots of illustrations to help kids better understand the concept being discussed.  I personally highlighted words I knew my daughter would struggle with in order for us to remember to discuss them with each other.

There are also pages focused on discussing or teaching various concepts related to the story.

At the end of the book they present a timeline showing the important events of the person's life.  

Amazon claims this book is for 8 years old and older but I think younger kids who are voracious readers would also appreciate and love this book. My daughter's crazy about it and couldn't put it down. 

I purchased this book in Fully Booked For 210 pesos and I think it is well worth price!

Family of Eggs

One of the concepts I was fascinated by while taking up my undergraduate in psychology was the difference between a hard-boiled egg family and a scrambled egg family. 

We learned that some families are like hard boiled eggs in a sense that each person respects the other's boundary. They are able to maintain their individuality and their identity while being member of the family.

Some families on the other hand are Scrambled Eggs in the sense that their lives are forever enmeshed in one another. What happens to one person is known by everyone, is felt by everyone. 

One is not necessarily better than the other, the best scenario I suppose is a healthy middle between the two kinds. I suppose a sunny side up that doesn't have a hard outer shell yet is still able to maintain its shape. 

It fascinated me because our family was on the extreme side of being scrambled eggs. My grand parents knew even about the lives of my classmates, my colleagues, we are just so enmeshed in each other's lives and we spend so much time together just talking to each other. I didn't know that there could be a different way of living. I thought the way I grew up was the normal way. Imagine my surprise when I married Ruy whose family was on the other extreme side of the spectrum. 

It took some adjustment. Some hemming and hawing before we found a life that fits us and makes us both happy and comfortable. A life where I can happily and comfortably keep my family of origin in the dark of some aspects of out lives for the sake of privacy which is important to Ruy, and also be able to share everything with Ruy to have hat connection I needed and I grew up with.

Obedience: Punishing the Behavior v.s, Influencing the Heart

When people talk about discipline people automatically think of how to "punish" a child for certain behavior. Is there really a difference between the two? In today's world most people don't seem to think so. Discipline has become almost synonymous to punishment in such a way that when you ask a parent how hes/she disciplines his/her child the response would most likely be:

"I spank."

 "I give time-outs."
 "I withhold certain things they like."
 "I make them sit on a corner. "

These answers don't really show discipline, they talk about what you are supposed to do to reinforce discipline.

Punishing may successfully curb behavior but it doesn't address the root issue...the attitude. Let's say for example that your child screams at you when she's angry. You can give her time out and say "Don't shout at mommy". But what does that teach? Does that address the issue of respect? Does it teach her how she can better deal with her anger? Maybe, just maybe, your child would stop shouting at you but unless the root issues are addressed the behavior would just manifest itself differently. Maybe your child would start hitting, or talking back, or slamming the door to show her anger. If a heart problem is not addressed, it is sure to show itself again in again in different ways.